Why I Pack My Husbands Lunch Each Day

Last Updated on May 22, 2019

Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of work, patience, and practice to cultivate a good marriage. Yet, with just one small change, we can transform the dynamics of a relationship. Here is my story, along with my best practical tip on how to start a happy marriage life.

Wondering how it's possible to have happiness in marriage? Here's how I have a happy marriage life --I pack my husband's lunch everyday!


What NOT to do for a Healthy Relationship with your Husband

During the honeymoon years of our marriage, rarely did I ever pack my husband’s lunch.  He was a Soldier in the US Army who rose out of bed before the sun presented itself and I was not getting up that early.  I HATED mornings!  However, there were a few times I tried packing it, but after getting my feelings hurt, I stopped.  

These were the years he was so picky with his food.  He didn’t like onions; his bologna had to be touching the mustard and the cheese touching the mayonnaise; only fresh vegetables; no apples; and the list goes on.  Once I stopped packing for his picky self, he would eat out or I would take him fast food.  In time though God and his word, Bible verses I decided to pray over as my role as a wife, put a conviction on me to complete this task.  It was something incredibly small, but also incredibly large.

Packing your husband's lunch should contain healthy food he enjoys -- it's one of my successful marriage tips for a happy marriage life!

My husband worked crazy hours as a Soldier.  Often, he left before the kids were up and came home when the kids were in bed.  Unfortunately, this is something the majority of military wives have learned to deal with.  

I missed him when he wasn’t home and wanted some way for us to connect while he was at work.  He was often busy dealing with so many things that phone calls and text messages often went unanswered or were very short conversations.  


My Best Tip on How to Start a Happy Marriage Life

So, I began to pour myself into making his lunch.  Honestly, it was a good challenge for me.  I had to plan out his meals – breakfast after PT, lunch, and some snacks in the event he worked late.  The more I packed my husband’s lunch, the better attitude my husband had.  Sometimes I would also write a quick note and put it in his lunch box.  

He began sending me short texts throughout the day telling me how much he appreciated the lunch I packed. These notes were not always heart touching love messages for my husband, but just taking the time to write something to him truly mattered.

Here's a heart touching love message for my husband, it's one of my secrets on how to have a healthy relationship with your husband!

One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Marriage

He would tell me how it made him feel appreciated and loved.  It wasn’t much and it wasn’t a burden on me.  The lunches weren’t extravagant four course meals, yet it meant so much.  The more it continued, the more it became a habit for us both.  This habit has continued since his retirement from the Army.  It is something incredibly small, but incredibly large.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband came home from work and said I was the only one of two wives that packed a lunch for their husband.  I understand the dynamics of many families with both the husband and wife working outside the home.  

Some women are not home all day to fix a lunch and I will get more into that in a bit.  However, I found this incredibly sad that so many women do not fix do their husband’s lunch.  On the other hand, my husband also knows other husbands who pack their wives lunch. Which I think is super sweet too! 

I pack my husband a lunch every day because it's special to him. It's a healthy lunch that guarantees healthy relationships.

As I set out to write this post, I googled “why you should still fix your husbands lunch.”  Here are some of the posts that I found:

  • Am I the only one who still fixes their husband’s lunch each day?
  • Is my husband right? He expects me to make him lunch each day?
  • Guys here’s why you need to make your own *expletive* lunch each day!

All I could say was “Wow!”  I edited my search and googled “why you should still pack your husbands lunch.”  Needless to say, I found some better ones, kinda.

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Not So Happy Marriage Tips

Note before I start getting hate mail- I’m not insinuating marriages are failing because the wife doesn’t pack her husband’s lunch.  Nor am I insinuating a wife has failed in her marriage because she’s not packing his lunch.  This was a conviction put on me. Plus, I enjoy honoring my husband in this way.  

Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?


Long ago I learned marriage is not a 50/50.  Marriage is 100/100.  Even when you’re not giving your 100, your husband should be giving his 100 and vice versa.  Now let me be clear- I am also not insinuating husband’s don’t know how to make a bologna sandwich (although my hubby says mine are better than his).  Besides, what could it possibly hurt?

I have heard it all through the years about this subject.  Here are some I have heard:

  • Why would you pack his lunch? Can’t he do it himself?
  • Why doesn’t he just pick up something at work?
  • That is crazy! I would never fix my husbands lunch!
  • No way I am getting up THAT early to pack my husband a lunch.
  • I work, too, and he doesn’t fix MY lunch!
  • You homeschool, why would you fix his lunch?
  • I am NOT Martha Stewart.
  • I work too, why isn’t he packing MY lunch?! 

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Our Happiness in Marriage isn’t about What He Can Do

In response to some of the protests – yes, my husband could fix his own lunch.  Although to hear him tell it, he can’t fix a sandwich as well as I can.  Especially an instant pot curried chickpea salad sandwich, but I digress. lol When he was still Active Duty in the Army, he could pick up something most days when he wasn’t trying put out fires (metaphorically speaking).  What options did he have, though?  Fast food and something that wasn’t very healthy.  

Packing my husband's lunch everyday helps our happy marriage life. These delicious foods brings comfort and joy spiritually and physically.

The Army wasn’t very kind to Soldiers who couldn’t make weight or pass their PT tests.  This is the same man who can gain and lose 10 pounds in just a few days.  The fast food options he had would soon turn into a habit and his energy levels were terrible, not mentioning his attitude.  

It also took more time to run and get something and come back.  Sometimes he would read and study his Bible during lunch, a book for his college classes, or do other things.  I knew this and wanted him to take advantage of those opportunities.

Healthy Relationships with Husband despite Wives Working

I may sound crazy to some people.  I can assure you that I am not the 1950’s housewife with a bow in her hair. Although I do enjoy being a keeper of my home and I also appreciate the sacrifices that my husband has made for me to be able to stay home with our kiddos.  This is one way I can bless him while he is at work.

Many wives have protested my doing this saying they work outside the home also.  That is a valid point.  Many ladies do work outside the home and are run as ragged as their husbands after a full day’s work.  While I don’t work outside the home, I do work a FULL time job at home keeping this site up, my Veterans Wife site up and the multiple facebook and influencer groups/pages I run.

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You ShatteredIt’s Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You ShatteredIt's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered


I also run Christian Blogger Network with my brother, friend & assistant, Alexandrea.  I speak around the country many on Veterans issues & PTSD. Also, I am a home chef and recipe creator.  My boys are also getting older and  involved in numerous activities throughout the week. Plus they volunteer. I also volunteer at church, community and veteran activities and am involved in Bible studies.  I work a lot for someone who doesn’t “work.” 🙂

I pack my husband's lunch everyday and include food he loves -- like homemade pizza. Happy husband, happy life.

Marriage Success is Possible – Why Packing a Healthy Lunch Works

I found the blessings that overflowed from this small sacrifice of time was so much more valuable than the extra time I took to read another chapter in a book, sit with my feet propped up or waste time on Facebook.  My husband often says that in order for blessings to come, blessings must be sent.  This is so true!  The more I did this, the more I was blessed!

When I began packing Clay’s lunch, I would wake up with him and pack it what I thought he needed for the day.  Did I mention that I hate mornings?  Eventually, I began packing his lunch at night.  He would either have something I whipped up (i.e. sandwich, tuna salad, etc.) or he would take leftovers.  

Did I tell you that mornings and I don’t get along?  Packing his lunch ahead of time removed any excuses from not packing his lunch.  It also gave me some extra sleep.  Win-Win!

Packing your husband's lunch every day should include healthy vegetables and fruit he loves. It will bring happiness in the marriage.

Clay has been retired from the Army for a couple of years now and I continue to pack his lunch to this day.  Currently he is working 2nd shift at his new job.  I fix us our big meal during lunch instead of supper time.  I pack him the leftovers to eat at work or I make him something else.

How to Be a Good Wife – A Praying Wife

It seems we are in a constant state of rush and hustle.  Rarely do we ever slow down for anything, let alone to smell the roses.  I slow down for the 5 to 10 minutes it takes me to pack his lunch and I pray over his food as I pack.  Then I can also pray for his day.  I pray for this man I married who is my very best friend.  Lastly, I can pray the food I prepare to send his way during his work time shows him a small glimmer of how much he means to me.

My husband Clay and I here are young and in love. We love sharing our successful marriage tips.

Faith, Hope, and Love but the greatest of these is Love.

One thing too I might add. When we serve others, our children are watching. I promise. Every. Single move. When we refuse to serve they are watching. So what legacy do you want to pass down? For me, I want my kids to learn to serve even when they would rather be doing something else. Even when it is hard. Even so, be the hands & feet. This image below is a picture of a lunch my middle son fixed for his Daddy to take to work.

The kids love to send messages to their Dad through his lunch box. Here is a sweet message from our son to his father.




What about you?  Do you pack your husband a lunch?  Comment below if you do!


28 thoughts on “Why I Pack My Husbands Lunch Each Day”

  1. Glad you wrote about this. I have been told even by women in the church that I shouldn’t have to pack my husband’s lunches, but I do it. Only when I’m ill do I let him pack his own. He appreciates it also. I think the feminist culture has crept into the church in this way. We should always be glad to help our husbands and not because we have to, but because its a blessing to our husband.

  2. I was married at 18. I had twin boys when I was 19 and then 18 1/2 years later God blessed us with a third child. My boys are 18 and my daughter is 9.

    My husband usually comes home for lunch and he has about an hour. He is also in college. So, on the days he has to go to classes (he leaves right after work), I fix a big lunch. I also was convicted about fixing him lunch. I don’t feel used, I feel blessed. As a matter of fact, I also fix lunch for my boys. One of them just got a job at a local grocery store and I have (and will continue) to fix his lunch as well. 🙂 It isn’t because they can’t fix it for themselves, it is because I, like you, just try to be a blessing.

  3. This is such a blessing! I am a newlywed and I have been packing my husband’s lunch every day since day one. It’s now so habitual that I plan on keeping up with this for all of our years. It sure is the little things. <3


  4. I have been packing my husband’s lunch for almost two decades–he works third shift and gets whatever we had for dinner or a container of something special. He grabs any ‘extras’ he wants (yogurt, fruit, etc) and is out the door without any fuss at night. It has worked out especially well the nights he’s gotten called late to go in early, and he literally runs out the door. I never really thought about it, I guess. It’s just part of our routine. I know he appreciates it when there’s extras that he likes or when I make something especially for him when we’ve had a Hot Dog ‘n ‘Burger Night. I also make sure he’s got the salad dressing or whatever that he likes too. It’s the little things, after all.

    Whoever gets those KitchenAid mixers?? You’re going to love it. I am not entering because we’re on our second one since getting married, and it is still going strong. I do want to break down and get some of the attachments yet, but honestly it paid for itself years ago.

  5. We take turns because everyone in the family needs a packed lunch every day, so whoever is available to pack them in the evening is the one who packs them. My husband also says I do a better job at packing his lunch than he does, lol.

  6. You are quite a catch and your husband is blessed. Secretly I think my husband enjoys lunch with his coworkers. He never speaks about it because I think he feels guilty while I am stuck at home eating microwaved leftovers with the kids everyday. But I am sort of jealous of all the time they get with him. ..

  7. This is such a beautiful act of love. Sometimes the biggest acts of love, may seem to others very small or even silly. I’m proud of you! And would encourage other couples to find ways to sacrifice for each other.

  8. YES! We’ll be celebrating 22 years of marriage this summer and I’ve always packed his lunch. I honestly love preparing it for him. It’s a simple way I can serve the man that does so much for our family.

  9. I pack my husband’s lunch. I get up early, pack it and go back to bed (most of the time). What I find challenging is that he doesn’t have access to a microwave and he gets tired of salads and sandwiches. He eats whatever I make him of course, but probably only because he doesn’t want to go hungry!

  10. I would love to talk to you more about this. We are stuck in a rut and I am very, very, very frustrated. Would you be willing to exchange a couple of emails?

  11. I always have…34 years of marriage strong. Even though I work as well, I feel so much better packing something as a way to honor him. I also fill his plate for him (if he wants me to) if we’re at a family gathering or a get together. I catch a lot of flack (mostly fun), but it’s just something I do.

  12. Hi! I love this article. I don’t pack my husband’s lunch yet (it would save us alot of money if I did) but I started making my husband’s breakfast every morning. I wake him up with it everyday. It’s not always made from scratch, based upon how tired I am, but it’s a nice way for him to start his day. God laid it on my heart to do this for him and its been great. Not many wives away his place of work do it so it makes him feel special too. 🙂

  13. Thank you for writing this post. I’m newly engaged and I make my fiance’s dinner almost every night. I’m a freelance journalist, so I basically work from home. I get up every morning to take out what is on the dinner list for that day, do some work, take my insulin, and start cooking. He works five to seven days a week and he is so tired when he gets home, I put his dinner at the table and let him enjoy some peaceful time to enjoy his food. Even now, sick with pancreas problems, I still try my best to make sure that he eats, even if my stomach can only tolerate soup.

  14. I have been married 14 years and I have always packed my husbands lunch or had it ready for him when he came home for lunch. Such a simple way to bless and serve the man who does so much for the family. I know it means a lot to him.

  15. Love your post! I also pack my husband’s lunch. He gets up early for work, and I work later into the evening, so it gives us a few minutes together in the morning, too (compared to if I slept in & then I’d go nearly 24 hours without seeing him). I pack his lunch in the morning (& make his coffee) while he’s getting ready to leave, and he usually makes dinner so that it’s ready for when I get home. It’s been a good routine for us, and a nice way for us to be more connected and to serve each other.

  16. I’ve been married since May, and I make lunch for my husband every single day unless he asks me not to. (Sometimes fast food is a good break for him if he has a shorter work day. For me too! Hehe) Joel is a flooring installer, and he has also recently began to build a spec home in the evenings and on weekends with a friend of ours. He’s always at work or doing something. He’s a great provider. So it’s a great blessing to lay down my selfishness and do things that please him or make him happy. I’m a firm believer in the man being the head of the house, and that when you submit to an authority there’s great blessing in it. When my heart is in a place to serve and love him, there’s great joy and preciousness in return. Each relationship is different, but I agree with the 100/100 thing!! It can’t just be one person giving and the other taking all of the time.

    I work full-time now, but we plan for me to have children in a couple years. So that means me quitting my job to be a full-time mom and homeschool one day too! That’s precious to me for him to allow me to be at home one day while he’s out there laboring. So it’s really not that hard of a thing for me to do what he likes! (I’m not saying lay over and die. But to lay my wants aside sometimes is way more worth it than trying to get my way.) Anyways, I was just on Pinterest looking for different things to spice up my husband’s lunch, and I ran across your post That’s pretty precious of you to be blessing you husband that way! You don’t hear that much.

  17. Thank you for this post. I pack my husbands lunch every morning as well. At first I hated getting up at 4:30 am but after a couple of weeks of getting up early it became easier to get up. I appreciate him more for the sacrifices he makes every day.

  18. My husband doesnt like eating lunch at work he says it makes him tired but i have tried and i do agree with what your views are. We are a team we should be showing the people we love we appreciate them. So many people take there partner for granted.we are very close and know that we will do anything for each other.i thonk this is a great think. And your not doing it because your hisband makes you. You choose to and it shows him he is loved god bless you and ur family

  19. When my youngest was 14 I became unwell and my eldest son who was 17 took over making the lunches. Everyoone has grown up and grand children are here. Yesterday I woke up and thought to myself that I should be making my husbands lunch. 10 years on and I am never going to be well, but I can pack a lunch! Then today I found your page and you reminded md why as a wirking mother I had always packed the lunches. Thankyou.l

  20. We are trying to be healthier. He forgets his lunch sometimes and has been buying so much fast food. I want our budget to serve the lord so recently I decided I would pack his lunch. I have been praying how to make sure i do it and praying hell remember it. Lol I do leave funny or sweet or romantic notes inside or on the bags if I use those. It actually kinda makes it fun. (Oh no where did that wrapper go I cant let anyone see what she wrote) I also write verses on many things. Tonight I cut up fruit, made chicken and sweet patatoes with a side of hummus and carrots. And 5 waters. I’m going to write on the waters lol ..I really appreciate this post and how encouraging it is! It is our job to serve our men. They say if you treat you man like hws super man hell he super man lol…even in a hard season right now where the tides are rising a simple lunch made for him will defeat the devils lies and remind him of my love and Gods love for him. Thank you for sharing.

  21. Thank You for taking the time to write this article!! While I’m not specifically religious, I felt so relatable in your words!! My husband and I are both on our 2nd marriages. We met in our late 30’s. I started packing lunches for him in the beginning because I wanted him to have a good lunch, I also wanted him to know he was that loved and would feel cherished by this act. He thanked me for the first few years daily and told me how much he loved it and appreciated it. It also selfishly made me feel needed and loved. Even when the everyday praise slowed down, I still happily made his lunch everyday. Like you, I make it the night before. When I’m very tired, it’s something thrown together or leftovers, but other days it’s something I make just for him. I work part time out of the house and when you said it felt like a way you could be connected to him when he was gone, I though yes- that! I’ve never thought of it as a negative or something I shouldn’t have to do. He’s grateful and feels cherished and loved and thinking of that every night as I prepare his lunch I think of that and how such a small task can make a man feel nurtured and loved. Thank you for sharing your story and making me feel even better about this little extra I do. Love to you and your family.

  22. I pack my husband’s lunch the night before. He is happy and thankful that I do it and it makes me happy being able to do that for him. In the mornings he is a lot less stressed if he isn’t rushed to put together a lunch and it starts his day off better.

  23. I’m so glad I found this. I’m about to be a new wife and we began the lunch packing ritual to save money. He’s only taken one lunch and is already asking for more! To be honest, it was microwaveable pulled pork, discount bread, and hatch Chilie veggie sticks! The next day, he got Taco Bell and was meh about it. I offered to make him food tins and take them up to him next week (we live an hour apart) and he accepted quickly and excitedly. So now, I found this post looking for manly lunch ideas to please my new husband as we go through this new journey together! I love how you word your feelings on it and I relate immensely. My new husband is making similar sacrifices to allow me to stay home with my children and enjoy being a natural homemaker without stressing about being the financial provider as well.

  24. Thank you so much for this read! This lunch issue and spending money on fast food has been a reoccurring issue in our marriage. I never thought of these positive points you made. It’s a different way to look at it while solving the problem. I do think it’s a sweet and nice gesture. I now want to give that to my husband bc he works hard long and demanding hours as well.

  25. When we were first married I packed my husbands breakfast and lunch the night before! He was out the door at 3:30 am and I to do NOT like mornings. Then for 5 years he worked out of town. During those years I tried sending meals on occasion but focused on making sure he had home cooked meals. He recently was laid off from that job. He quickly found a new job much closer to home. Although some days I struggle with prepping his breakfast, I try to have a lunch packed for him. Yes he can make his own (and he is a good cook), but I also feel that it is just a simple act that can show my husband I care, I love him, and honor our marriage.

  26. It took me 22 years before I started making my husband’s lunches. He served in the US Navy, so there was no need to. When he retired and began working as a civilian, I fought hard to keep my mornings mine. We were going through a rough time in our marriage and God convicted me to start getting up with him in the mornings. I would prepare his coffee, pack his lunch and kiss him goodbye each morning. It isn’t much, but he grew to appreciate it and it was a step towards healing what was not working in our marriage. Do not let others question your “why”. If you are feeling God’s nudging, just do it.

  27. I pack my Husband lunch. He’s a Deputy Sheriff on nights. Not a lot of options to choose from at 2300.. I make his lunch, he stops home to get it, and takes it in to eat with his shift. I know he has a good meal, and he doesn’t have to worry about people messing with his food.

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