Modest Monday: Being a Virtuous Wife

Being a Virtuous Wife

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. Proverbs 31:10 

The definition in, says virtue is defined as “moral excellence; goodness; righteousness”, and virtuous is defined as “conforming to ethical and moral principles.” If we combine both of these two words, a virtuous woman would be a woman of moral excellence, goodness, and righteousness, conforming to ethical and moral principles.

Here are some examples of Being a Virtuous Wife from the Bible:

Sarah: Sarah did not believe she would be able to conceive and bare a son; however, after God visited her she realized she was walking in unbelief and she repented.  She was later blessed with the birth of Isaac, although she was very old when she gave birth to him.  Sarah’s story doesn’t stop with the birth of Isaac though.  She continues this journey by following her husband, Abraham, who had a plan from God.  She would eventually leaven her family and their home and follow God’s perfect plan.  Despite the fact that Sarah’s husband made mistakes, in his heart he loved God.  Because of his love of God and Sarah’s faith in her husband and in her God, she was able to withstand his faults and walk in love towards God.  Sarah had so much faith in God’s plan and in her husband to follow God’s plan that she allowed her husband to be the leader of their family.  Needless to say, Sarah was a woman of complete faith.  We can learn a lot about faith by studying the life and example of Sarah.

Mary: Mary was willing to sacrifice her reputation and her very life to submit to God’s will.  In her day a woman who became pregnant while betrothed could be stoned to death.  Mary had complete faith in God and His will.  She was completely obedient.

These are just two examples of virtuous women found in the Bible.  There are many other Godly examples and I will be sharing some of their stories throughout this study.

What does a Virtuous Woman look like in our life as a wife and mother?

1.  Watch what you say to others. Have you ever been in a crowd of ladies who sit talking about their husbands? I have, and ladies, do NOT be that woman who gossips about your husband and makes him look bad.  Sure, we all like to joke and poke fun. We all need a friend to confide in, but as a virtuous woman, ladies, we should bring our husbands good and not shame.  I’m sure we’ve all had that thought in the back of our minds, “He isn’t even there, how would he know?”  It’s a pretty good possibility that he won’t know.  However, how you behave about him when he is not there, is how you’re going to behave around him when he is there.  The words you speak that tear him down when around your friends and acquaintances are the words you will eventually say directly to him.  It becomes a habit.  One of our jobs in bringing good and not harm to our husbands is to build them up, even if they are not there.  If you’re chatting to Sally and a bunch of friends, who is to say that friend won’t tell someone who will tell someone and it get back to your husband?  Not to mention, even if she didn’t, it’s still not right to make your husband look bad.  As a military wife I have heard ALOT of husband bashing from wives.  It looks awful and is very unladylike.  I understand that our husbands do things and act certain ways that makes us want to pull our hair out.  I know mine does.  🙂 Sometimes, we just want to vent our frustrations to a friend.  I encourage you, ladies, to have a very close friend, someone you can confide in and have confided in, to share your frustrations.  However, I further encourage you to be very careful how you word things.  I’m sure we’ve had an instance sometime during our lives where a mountain was created out of a mole hill.  We definitely don’t want our love for our husband’s qualities overshadowed by something he does that frustrates us…even if that something is his snoring. 😉

2.  Watch what you say and how you act TOWARDS you husband in public.  Another thing that looks terrible is putting your husband down in public.  Yes ladies, I know sometimes it is hard to bite your tongue when your husband has just said something….uhm, how should I put this…stupid.  In your mind you want him to know what he said was dumb.  Now like I said earlier, joking is one thing, but bringing him down is another.  I encourage you to pray before you act.  Ask God to quiet those thoughts that are bugging you so bad you want to scream.  I have also seen women roll their eyes, have a haughty attitude, and really be quite hateful out on public.  Ladies, please don’t do this!!!  It will tear your husband down and also make him look bad to others.  Honestly, it just isn’t worth it.  If you need a cool down period, excuse yourself to the bathroom for a few minutes and pray, then come back.  Cooler heads will prevail and, in my experience, your husband will be more receptive, if it is something you must address. Also, if you must address what he said, do it in private and not in the presence of others.

3.  Be careful who you spend your time with. While we are to go into all the world and preach the gospel, who our close friends are should resemble our beliefs.  Find like minded sisters in Christ to spend time with.  Look for ladies who value marriage and their spouse.  Look for ladies who can have fun in Christ and it not be at others expense.  Being a virtuous woman it is also important to avoid gossip, which is another reason to watch who you hang out with.

4. Fear God and hate sin.  Look at Ruth 3:11 and Proverbs 12:4 – be of strong mind and character. Character is much more important than your reputation.  Stand firm in the gospel and do not be shaken.  Do not make your family ashamed by your actions, thoughts, or attitude.  We should always be mindful of our actions and our attitude because those things can, and will, affect our testimony.  Our life is a living testimony to others and as the saying goes, ” We may be the only Bible that some people ever read”.

5. Take care of our Appearance. Ladies, we really should be embracing our femininity.  Embracing our feminine side doesn’t mean that we have a sinful pride and become vain.  It means that we take care in our appearance for our husbands.  Our body is a temple and we should take time to take care of it the best we can.  Obviously that will look different for each of us as God has made us all different shapes and sizes.  Regardless of our specific shape or size, we should still strive to care for our appearance.  We can also take care of our self by wearing things that compliment our body shape and size and embrace our feminine side at the same time.  Don’t forget to check for modesty as well! 🙂 I know that as a home school mom, while I blog on modesty and the outfits that you see on here are real outfits I wear when I go out, at home there are days where I just lounge around.  I could make a better effort to do better in my appearance for my husband.  My mom tells me stories about how she would dress special for dinner every evening.  I remember as a child, I rarely lounged around all day in pajamas, and coming to dinner in pajamas (unless I was sick) just didn’t happen.  One of my goals this year is to put forth a better effort on the days I don’t leave the house.

So where can a virtuous woman be found? She can be found in all of us! If there are changes that need to be made, pray and ask God to help you make those changes.  That virtuous woman is there and it’s time to bring her out to the surface.  I’m sure that many, if not all, of you reading this already portray virtuous qualities.  Are there other virtuous qualities you need to work on?  I know that in writing this blog, I found some things I need to work on.  Let’s make an effort together ladies to be more virtuous, to worry more about our character than our reputation and to be a Godly example as portrayed in the Bible by many women of God.

So what did I wear? 🙂
Being a Virtuous Wife
Being a Virtuous Wife
Being a Virtuous Wife
Hat: Fred Myer
Yellow Sweater: Old Navy for $5 🙂
Black shirt: Dainty Jewells
Black and White polka dot skirt: Dainty Jewells
Black Belt: I think I got this at Ross Dress for Less
Black Boots: Anne Klein
In Christ,


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  1. “While we are to go into all the world and preach the gospel, who our close friends are should resemble our beliefs.” Yes! It always concerns me when I see Christians making best friends out of non-believers. Those people should be witnessing opportunities, yes, but not our closest buddies.

  2. Great article! I know one of the things I struggle with is gentleness. My mom raised me to be a tough woman and I tend to put my guard up against everyone, including my husband sometimes. Thank you so much for your help and guidance. I needed this. 🙂

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